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A Heart For Home: In Sickness and In Health

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

In Sickness and In Health

In a little less than two weeks my husband, Tim, will be undergoing reconstructive foot surgery. This will be Tim's 5th foot surgery and will hopefully be his last surgery for quite some time.

Tim's first four surgeries were preformed when he was a child and are now very outdated.

This surgery will remove screws that were inserted during Tim's last surgery (20 years ago now). Tim's heel bone will also be removed, relocated and supported by new plates and screws. Tim will also have tendons added to his collapsing foot to stabilize and hold his foot in the proper place.

Needless to say, this is a very painful process. However, Tim will be released to come home the same day.

While he painfully deals with three weeks of complete bedrest, the kids and I will learn the art of loving Tim in sickness. I know this will be a difficult time for Tim as he is forced to spend more in bed in those 3 week than he normally spends in almost 3 months. I know this will be a difficult time for our children who won't be able to understand why Daddy can't hold them or get out of bed. I know this will be a difficult time for me as I'm called to lovingly care for my husband, children and home without any type of break. 

Looking to this surgery makes my heart go out to single parents everywhere. I don't know how you do it. I know that it'll only be by the grace of God that I make it through even one day.

Thankfully, God is faithful! He will not leave me alone. He will be the strength I need. He will strengthen me through his power and his unfailing love. I believe in who he is! I will not be dissappointed!

Please, keep us in your prayers. God works through prayer. He gives them hands and feet to do his good will.

Do you have any advice for how we can minister to a loved one who is confined to bed? How about how to help young children through the difficulty of not being able to play with Daddy? What about ways I can prepare my home and heart to keep from becoming overwhelmed? Any suggestions would be really appreciated!
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Blogger Jessie said...

My thoughts will be with you and your family.

December 7, 2010 at 3:25 PM  
Blogger Blondee said...

Oh my! Poor Tim!

Absolutely sending prayers your way. My husband had to have two surgeries a year apart, and thankfully while he was only confined to bed a week at a time for each, it was hard with a noisy three year old and a newborn in the house.

Definitely keep in mind that men do not tend to tough through surgeries like women do....I'm not saying that to be mean or boastful, but men tend to turn into large children at these times. Cut Tim a lot of slack and try to be as patient as you can. I'm sure you will be an angel.

Start cooking ahead and freezing meals. That way, YOU get a bit of a break. Nothing is worse than being a nurse, Mom, maid and cook. At least with some of the meals oven ready, you can get a reprieve. Stock up on simple games that the kids can play with Daddy. Old Maid, Checkers, Crazy 8's, I Spy, Tic Tac Toe paper, coloring books, anything simple and quiet that doesn't take a lot of patience or loose pieces that can get spilled in a bed or on a couch.

Join your local if you are not on there already and ask for simple board games if you don't already have a decent stock. Also, ask for old issues of magazines that Tim might enjoy while he's on the mend. National Geographic, Farm Life, etc are some beautiful books that capture most people's interest.

Stock up on what you might need now. Pain reliever, a cold/hot compress, bandages, etc. I'm sre the doctors office could give you a list of things, that way you don't have to run out after the surgery for 'items'. Depending on Tim's surgery (personal info coming) and the pain meds he's on, you might want to get him some fiber tablets, or stool softeners for post op. A lot of pain meds cause constipation which makes anyone miserable, having those on hand, and starting them the day of surgery will make him more comfortable and easier to deal with. Again, the doctor will be able to tell you what they normally give for pain and if it's a constipating med.

Have plans for the kids. A day with a friend or Grandma/aunt/neighbor post op might be good for them and for you. Or, have videos and movies that interest Tim that he can watch, and take the kids to a movie, or an indoor playground for an afternoon.

Sorry to have rambled, but these were big helps for our home. Good luck to Time, and to you, we'll be thinking of you.

December 7, 2010 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Blondee said...

One more yourself a nice large box of decadent never know when a girl might need a little reward for all that hard work!

December 7, 2010 at 9:52 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Sorry I can't think of any great advice at this moment since I'm half asleep and off to bed but I wanted to let you know I'll be thinking about you all.

December 7, 2010 at 11:04 PM  
Blogger Brandi Elam said...

Blondee had some great ideas! My first suggestion is one of hers...I also agree that scheduling some time for the kids out of the house is a good plan - at a friend's, grandma's, etc. It gives Tim quiet time to rest and offers a little break for you as well. If you have people in the area who have offered to help, take them up on it...whether it be letting them bring dinner by or coming over to help you fold laundry. If Tim is unable to be left alone, try to find someone (a family member, perhaps?) who can sit with him for an hour or two while you get out of the house. Being stuck in the house can be exhausting in and of itself!

Figure out what your husband will need or want when he's in bed and try to keep that by his bedside within easy reach. A small cooler with some drinks or a large pitcher of water and his favorite snacks will keep him from having to call you every time he needs something...which will help keep both of you saner!

Will be thinking about and praying for you all and hoping the surgery goes smoothly!

December 8, 2010 at 9:04 AM  

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